Hey friends – the blog’s been on vacation while I wrapped up the school year in Ontario and transported myself and my belongings back westward towards sunny Colorado. While the blog was backpacking in Norway and living the high life in Copenhagen (note of course that the blog left me back on this side of the ocean to toil and pack…), it was getting all kinds of junk mail in the Spambox. When it returned with a Scandinavian glow, radiating disturbingly peaceful Socialist ideals, its teeth glistening brightly from the affordable and highly subsidized dental care, it was initially quite irritated that it needed to sort through so much spam.
However, I like to think that I saw the opportunity here, and thus I gently encouraged my blog to choose a selection of the best junk mail and respond accordingly. We had great fun on the patio of a highrise in Denver writing these; hopefully you’ll enjoy them too.
Dear android apk files delete –
Thanks for the compliment. I see from your IP address that you’re writing from the Ukraine, I wasn’t aware that Ukrainians have 2 middle names. Look – you’ve taught me something today!
To your question: it sure sounds to me like you need more amphetamines in your diet. Read Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Imitate the narrator’s words and actions precisely. You’ll be flooded with great, coherent, and socially acceptable ideas in no time! Thanks for writing in!
Dear Melissa –
Based on your comment, you seem to have perfectly understood my stated distinctions between the inspiration and inerrancy of the Scriptures, so I won’t bother to reiterate my central thesis for you at this time. If you research the Levitical provisions for acne care in Chapter 18, you’ll surely discover (as I have) that smearing toothpaste over acne sores and leaving it overnight will, by requirement of the Law, cause a social ostracism resulting in expulsion from the camp of Israel. I encourage you to test this for yourself.
I believe the later Rabbinical stipulations took this idea even further, by requiring a penance of 24 hours of continual flossing for such abuses of dental care products and skin mistreatment. See the Pirke Avot, though, I could be wrong on that last point.
Dear [Thai or Cambodian squiggily text],
Well, look, you’ve gone and made me blush. I tell everyone I know about my blog’s velocity, it’s kind of my thing. So happy you noticed.
And may I congratulate you on your powers of perception! I am, indeed, doing any unique trick. I’m quite proud of my wonderful task on this topic, too. Just remember, [Thai or Cambodian squiggily text] – YOU CAN EVEN.
Keep that spam coming, folks! No better way to spend a Saturday afternoon as my faire Irish skin fries like a boiling lobster in the mile high sun. – Steve